Lord Voldemort's Wand
by Kearie
Summary: Oh, those incompetent Death Eaters! Lucius. Bellatrix. Gen with hints of VoldemortBellatrix. Silly piece about breaking into Ollivanders, with a nice side of Frat Boy!Lucius and Nutcase!Bella.


"Lord Voldemort's Wand" PG? Dunno. Lucius, Bellatrix. Gen, with hints of Voldemort/Bellatrix (theirloveissoeeeeevviill)a bad plot, Frat Boy!Lucius, and blatant ignoring of the semi-canon of the Walpurgis Knights. There are also some poor attempts at something like humor, so, yea... Written from that fanfic plot bunny generator that was going round awhile ago.  
  
Lucius Malfoy & Bellatrix Black Lestrange ::Ollivanders:: blood will tell  
  
There had always been a wide range of utterly ridiculous rumors surrounding Lord Voldemort's wand. That it was longer than other wands was a fact Bellatrix could vouch for personally, but the rest were baseless. The most recent spate—set off by that blasted baby Potter and his stubborn inability to die in a graveyard—took the cake. There were myths of origin; such as that it had been handed down from Salazar Slytherin himself, or that it was carved from the bones of a demon the Dark Lord had summoned from hell; and there were myths of ability. It was rumored to make the possessor indestructible, render him invisible to Muggles, bestow him with excellent taste in fine wines, and other such rubbish. Bellatrix suspected that a good many of the Death Eater underlings followed Voldemort solely because of his wand, which was why the current situation was such a calamity.  
  
Of course, Bellatrix knew the truth about her Lord's wand. The reality was that it shared a core with Harry Potter's, and thus provided the Dark Lord with an extra layer of protection against the boy. Sadly, it was also true that it had been sat upon by Goyle Sr. during a recent Death Eater tea party. Bellatrix knew such things because she was a trusted member of Voldemort's inner circle; Death Eaters who had fought for him in the first war and had proven themselves worthy to know his treasured secrets. Granted, there was no particular reason for the materials of Voldemort's wand to be kept so closely guarded, seeing as the enemy was well aware of them, but sometimes keeping secrets was just plain fun. Lucius Malfoy certainly thought so.  
  
She had listened to his story a hundred times; there was really no need for him to retell it as they were attempting to slink through the shadows of Diagon Alley. "I can remember the day of my recruitment like it was yesterday. I was entering the Great Hall for breakfast when I felt a hand clap my shoulder. I was about to turn around and confront whoever it was, but then they asked me 'Skull and Bones, accept or reject?' and I was very quick to accept. I of course remember my father talking about his old secret society and figured he would be very proud to hear I had been tapped..."  
  
Bellatrix tuned him out. She had more important things to do, like try not to be caught. Besides, she knew his story by heart. When he arrived at the Marking Ceremony, Lucius had been more than a little disappointed to find that the organization's name had been changed to the Death Eaters. It seemed there had been some confusion, and another group in the States was already called Skull and Bones. It was all quite all right of course, since the other group had much the same aims as Voldemort. And so the story continued. The ceremony was strange...enjoyed the sex part but not the murder...woke up with a bad headache and the realization that it wasn't a fraternity, even if it did have secrets and membership via blood legacy... earned esteem by learning to enjoy the murder...climbed the ladder...where he was today bla bla bla. Bellatrix reminded herself that killing him would not only increase their chances of being spotted, but would also make Voldemort very displeased. One thing led to another, and Bellatrix found herself lost in a daydream about the Dark Lord spanking her and calling her a naughty, naughty girl.  
  
"What about you, Bella? I don't believe you've ever told me why you joined." Lucius's voice brought her out of her reverie, and she once again fought down the urge to murder him on the spot. Instead she ignored him, knowing that if she opened her mouth it would surely be to say 'Avada Kedavra.' Besides, they were so close to their destination.  
  
The pair rounded one final corner, and soon found themselves facing a shabby looking building. The sign, reading iOllivanders: Makers of Fine Wands Since 382BC/i, glinted slightly in the moonlight. It was only as she muttered a quick succession of spells to unlock the door that she realized they didn't really have a plan.  
  
The inside of the shop was quiet and dark, and smelled faintly of damp wood. Its eerie peacefulness made Bellatrix uneasy. If she had had any delusions that finding a match for Voldemort's wand would be easy, a quick 'Lumos' dispelled them immediately. She and Lucius found themselves face to face with seemingly endless shelves of wand boxes, all filed according to some system likely only known to Ollivander himself.  
  
"Well fuck," said Lucius calmly.  
  
Bellatrix gave in and smacked him in the back of the head with her wand  
  
::...::...::...::...::...::  
  
Three AM found two very disgruntled Death Eaters sitting amidst piles of opened boxes and scattered wands. They had been through every shelf in the store.  
  
Lucius was the first to speak, as Bellatrix was teetering too close to the edge of murderous rage to really manage words. "I don't think it's here."  
  
"Yes, I do believe you're correct," came a soft voice from behind them. They turned to see an old man standing on the staircase leading down from the flat above the shop. Ollivander's pale eyes twinkled at them. Bellatrix fought down the urge to Avada Kedavra him; they reminded her of Dumbledore.  
  
"There is only one wand in existence that replicates the core of the one that was lost," he continued.  
  
"Baby Potter," hissed Bellatrix. She began to claw at her hair in rage.  
  
Seeing that Bellatrix was a bit caught up in her own insanity at the moment, Lucius strode forward. In a very businesslike manner he pointed his wand at Ollivander's neck and ordered him to reveal the location of the Phoenix that had given the feather for Voldemort's now-destroyed wand. The shopkeeper merely chuckled.  
  
"Use your imagination Mr Malfoy. Where do you think?" he replied vaguely.  
  
Bellatrix was distracted from her outburst by his continuing resemblance to the Headmaster of Hogwarts. "Twinkle twinkle, little man. Tell us! I don't think you can."  
  
"Don't worry Bella." Lucius pushed his wand deeper into the hollow of Ollivander's throat. "We aren't enemies," he mused, thinking of the sign above the shop. i Makers of Fine Wands Since 382BCi. "Blood will tell."  
  
Ollivander allowed himself to be led up the stairs by the two Death Eaters. 


End file.
